not for human consumption.

(don't eat yellow snow)

woods and water.

as crazy as it seems, my pops once had his own fishing and hunting column in the newspaper when i was just a young child. it makes me smile.
(articles to come)

small planes to small towns.

goodbye x-mas.

i <3 postcards...idk roman numerals any higher, so "14" it is.

maharo lala!



ms.spain, finally ;) (jk) and fo sho, summer :)



mo, mo, mo, merrrrry christmas!



lala! <3



unfortunately this will be my last disney post i recieve from lala, but only because fortunately she will be home sooooon!

life is...

people probably think i'm a weirdo for buying wooden wall hangings as such from savers and hanging them up in my house.
but...i like it, and i think this one is from the old 1970's movie "love story", or at least looks like it.

the question is...

what have i been doing with myself?

you ask me.
i ask myself.

amongst many of the things,
one: hanging with o.d.

it's almost a week since the new year has started and writing (expression, documentation, thoughts) just hasn't been a priority.
sad.

it's wednesday night. ok, exactly 12 a.m., thursday, as i check the clock and i've spent my evening removing my acrylic nails (yes, i, me, sweetd, have been wearing fake nails) whiling having mutual therapy sessions with kam before she left for work and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. for some reason, cleaning is therapeutic to me. perhaps being gratified by a sense of accomplishment? whatever it is, it is.
had to organize for the new carpet (in the living room, pervs) and it was just needed.
i even cleaned all the fuzzies and dusts off the fans.
found a nintendo 64 and a super nintendo which had been forgotten.


is it warm in here? ...or is it just my stomach?
solo sessions of warm crown and sanpincha chasher.
(not exactly my top choice, but it's handy)

i've made too many new years resolutions, most of which i probably won't keep. but here it goes anyway:
-get a new job or stop bitching about the one i got (and definitely looking...not even two hours on my first day back to work after vacation and i HATE it)
-bye-bye potty mouth (being known as the "f-bomb queen" isn't really what i want to be remembered for)
-read the news everyday (knowing what is going on in the world is quite important)
-read more in general
-exercise (duh.) buuuut, not going to the gym; i never do. just hike, beach, and whateva.
-appriciate what have (if we friends, we friends)
-be a good influence on others
-have self-control
-help others/volunteer
-finish friggin what have of cups for the cup book (especially before buying anymore cups)
-pay off bills (as much as possible)
-(goes hand-in-hand with above) no waste money
-(same as above) stop buying un-needed stuff at savers, no matter how cool it is
-cook (need to practice for future, eat healthier, save money)
-(along with above) organize recipies
-visit family in the summer (once a year is not enough)

saw good 'ol c.c. today- never shabby.

couple days left in the midwest.

in hawaii i had been waiting for a time i could have nothing to do so much to the point i'd be bored.
i haven't been bored, per-say, just enjoying a relaxing vacation, the company of my family and got to have a white (whiteside) christmas.

the time here (in mn) was not by any means perfect, and it was the first time in a while i actually popped a blood vessel in my eye from ball-bagging (as my pops calls it) so much.

what made me sad the most was that when shit did hit the fan, i was upset that i've only seen my family once in a year and that we weren't all getting along the entire time.
a couple minutes later and a hug from my pops and it's all good.

even if i'm broke as hell, i'm going to come back and visit this summer.


my pops tried hooking me up with one of the guys building our garage...pointless i told him; although he wasn't a shabby lookin' small town hardworking dude.

other than that my trip was full of snowmobile riding, ice fishing, cousins, small kine drinkage and bracelet making.

only two days left and i'll be back to my home.
i feel it's my home because it's where i live- it's where i go home to, it's were i've established myself.

i think my family and i all learned that honesty with each other is the best policy- they'll support you and love you, no matter what.

i've been wearing the same clothes for three days- ew. time for change.

brainwashing america's future?

click: here.

and here.

i <3 postcards...(XIII)

india, domo w.s.d. (whitesided dolphin)



amsterdam, ditto.

passed math class.

thank god.

only a 79.19%, bringing the g.p.a., but i really don't care.
it's over.

time flies.

where did most of december go??
it started with my birthday...
and somehow it's now already the 19th.

writing hasn't been so much on my mind. what's to say anymore?
i guess theres some things i could say, but decide it's better just not to.
and i've put off doing anything school until school starts back up in january.

i leave in about 14 hours, fly strait into minneapolis and then take a rickidy little plane to a small northern town. hopefully i can just curl up in a ball and k.o. against the window like i always do. it supposed to be "snow showers" that day...but hopefully i'll make it on time, and i don't mind the turbulance.

(this could quite possibly be like the one perk of being short: riding in cramped airplanes. seriously though, i feel cramped, i can't imagine how everyone else feels. ick. ok, flying in airplanes and also being able to pretend i'm really young. like when i was 18 and my and my pops went riding on a sunday morning and out to brunch and told the lady, "one adult and one child,"(a child- 12 and under) and the lady believed it. seriousLy?)

anyway.

made some "puppy chow" (some holiday treats my mom would always make). ...just didn't taste the same. maybe it's all in my head? then again, maybe not.
i'm pretty sure my mom will have some in minnesota when i get there.

getting away for a week will be good.
just family and relaxing.

and then i'll be ready to get back to life, say goodbye to 2009 and be openminded about 2010 has to offer (as much as possible).


"love me if you dare"- that's what the video said, click: let go.

"washed up wednesday"

...on the westside.

click: "super earthes"
wow.

shame already.

...blogwise- been slacking. and busy.


finishing up with school and pretty much procrastinating to the max.
haven't been working that much.


the house has been more full than usual, but the company is nice.


have a bruise on my thigh the size of my palm from friday night, and not going out again for a while.


five more days and i'm off to minnesota :)

we went to big island.

where to even start with all the adventure endavered this weekend?

me and a few of my homegirls packed a few clothes (i did a very hasty (bad) job of packing) and took off for the weekend.

we all arrived on time: a miracle. (i'm usually the ealy one)

we got checked in and settled easily.

on the plane i was seated between p.p. and some old man. after getting situated, seated and belted, we began to get a bit antsy because for some reason it seemed like we had been sitting a while.

after about twenty minutes that captain annouced there was a problem with the plane.
the man sitting next to me turned and mentioned something about patience being key, chuckling along like a nice and friendly old man.
we waited.
then about ten minutes later they said that couldn't fix it and that we'd have to switch planes...
but for some reason it took forever to let us off the plane.
we waited.
finally everyone stood up and while waiting for the doors of the plane to open, and the old man had no patience at all! he was seriously like trying to push me out of the way...
but there was no where to go yet!
everyone was watching him thinking "wtf" and it got to the point where i had to be rude and say, "excuse me, can you stop pushing me? there is no where to go," in a stern way.
wow.

on the next plane we had the same seats, but luckly the row behind me had an open one, so i took it.

t.b.c...

me, myself, and i.

if i ever have a book about life, it would definitely be called "life in a nutshell".

i'm 24 now. 8,760 days i've been alive. i checked that math three times because for some reason i assumed there were more days than that, but i guess not.
as most people say, you don't miraculously automatically feel older, it's more just getting used to replying with "24" when people ask how old you are.

twenty four years ago my pops was digging out the car (since i was born in a blizzard on ellsworth afb, south dakota (in/near rapid city,s.d.)). my mom said i was born between 1 and 1:30 p.m. and that i was out in less than an hour upon her arrival of the hospital.

only some months of living in s.d. i move to arkansas were i lived throughout some of kindergarten.

partway through kindergarten, we moved to north dakota. i think my teacher's name was ms.divorack.
i always liked school and can remember most of my teachers.
second grade, ms.carver (her husband was a trucker)
third grade, ms.danielson (she was young and friends with my mom since my mom's a teacher, too)
fourth grade, ms.brookes (she got married partway through the year, but can remember her "new" name.

[moved to okinawa]

fifth grade, mr.shipley (he's my friend on facebook, we used to steal candy out of his desk)
sixth grade, mrs.germaine (she passed away of cancer a couple of years ago, her daughters went to my h.s.)
seventh grade, mr.kanikkaberg (lori's dad), mr.stevens (from *new hampshire, had accent, always let me run errands for him during class), ms.puzy (engrish, she was nice, her daughter was murdered not so long ago working in a third world country), math (can't remember her name right now, but she was obsessed with math damon and serioiusly would give you extra credit if you brought her in a picture of him from like a magazine or something, and she would post it on the bulliten board)
eighth grade, mr.benjamin (crazy science teacher who told me and my friend, "hey, no shooting up in class!" and he got stranded on an island kayaking and barely survived off of water dripping from inside a cave.), ms.pope (craigery's mom!), mr.pruitt(stuck in the 70's kine clothes with his curly chest hair sticking out and a jerry-curl perm(?), always yelled "sign my folder!" if you were in trouble, my sister had him, too.)
tenth grade, ms.rivers (crazy lady, my sister had her, too.), ms.trusedale (for my dumb-kid science class becasue i didn't want to take anything challenging since science/math is hard for me. she was a hobbit-troll like lady who had sooo much crap packed in her van it was disgusting and everyone made fun of it. we SERIOUSLY did an "expeirment" to see if a ball would be better on: grass, cement, or wood; wtf, right?)

a lot of teachers in the dods system are kind of crazy. they moved overseas, for some reason many of them don't get married, and they do a lot of traveling because they: 1. make good money 2. get good benefits 3. have the schedule to do so 4. live in the places to do so
maybe i shouldn't haven't dropped out of the college of education and went with my plan before to be a teacher and move overseas again.
who knows.
but i wouldn't be who i was today if life were any different...so, no regrets.

so after graduating high school on okinawa, i decided to stay there and attend the university of maryland [extension-asian division] on the base. which...really isn't like a college campus at all, it's just like night classes with military people and their families. i don't mind it like that; just way different than attending somewhere like uh. and i was also working as a teacher aid at a primary school for fairly high functioning special ed children.
[maybe i would be happier now if i worked somewhere like a school again and out of the stuuuupid service industry--but it's just getting through school now so i don't have to work at a restaurant forever. then again, it's not like the restaurant is a bad job, it's actually a really good job [eXspeically considering the economy]. hmm...life.]

life in okinawa was great, amazing and an experience i'm so grateful for.
we were only supposed to be stationed there for four years, but my dad ended up retiring there, scoring a shweeet civilian contractor job, my mom had a shweeet teaching job, and life was good.
i'm sad i'm gone and miss it soooo much, but it's a small island and there is much more to the world, and i can always go back again someday [hopefully soon--maybe it will inspire me to want to get at least a minor in japanese...or i was thinking of doing a summer study aboard there [but i'd probably be like a really bad student and just cruise all the time, haha]]
nothing will ever be like it was; i just have to accept that.

one big downfall of living far away: being far away. living in japan we saw our family like once a year.
we went from diving down to see my cousins every othe weekend to seeing them once a year!
i guess you could say that was a sacrafice.

when my grandma was diagnosed with pancreotic cancer we decided to move "home". home--we didn't really have one, but my parents got a house in minnesota where we went every other weekend practically while living in n.d. and we had family there.
very, very small town.

mom my actually suggested i move to hawaii, but i decided i would just go to minnesota...and although i could have gone anywhere, i felt like i didn't really have anywhere to go, and i do like being near my family.

from the fifth grade i was in okinawa, and had to start a new at nineteen in minneapolis.
i hated it. i hated everything.
i hated it so much i probably didn't give it enough of a chance...because there are really great things about minnesota; i just really like being warm, the ocean, the sun and being around people i feel like i can relate with more--(if that makes sense).
i suppose i could be happy anywhere, and i'm sure if i gave minnesota a chance again, i could live there, but at that time, i was just not happy.

i remember when my mom drove me up to my school orientation at the university of mn-twin cities in minneapolis. we went to where i would be living, the school, etc.
as we drove off, i just turned my face towards the windo and silently cried-scared and just not feeling excited about this new journey at all.

basically i went to class during the week. the campus(es) are huge and i think with grad students there were something like 100,000 students.
too big for me.

i didn't meet many people i would consider friends or even many people i'd want to spend my time with, but i did really like one of my roommates though, inge. we cooked spaghetti and sewed a lot of pajama pants and watched way too much of a paris hilton show where she roadtripped around with her best friend.
on the weekends i worked a japanese restuarant.

i saved my money and my mom said if i'm not happy i should go wherever i'll be happy and that if it doesn't work out i can always come "home", so even though for some reason i felt guilty, i decided i was going to move.

i decided between california (around san fran-even though i had never been there) or hawaii.

hawaii it was.

here i am.

i don't know where i'll be later on.
it could be here, it could be there.


my grandpa and i. i look like a fat boy.



my mom's favorite picture of me. like 1.5/2 yrs old.



always crazy. first grade.




me and a cat that i think was named princess.



jobs i've had:
-craft store
-lifeguard/swim instructor
-engrish teacher
-teacher aid
-japanese restaurant(s)
-professional photographer
-writing for kaleo

i wouldn't mind working at a craft store again, but i think i'd be really poor.


i haven't done this in forever is now seems like the perfect time.

where is your mother?
probably at home in mn.

where is your father?
probably deer hunting in mn.

do you like to swim?
i love swimming.

do you need to return anyones phone call?
always.

Where were you born?
s.d.

where do you keep your birth certificate?
i think my mom has it.

how many days until your birthday?
364

what is the closest orange object to you?
an orange owl pot i found at savers.

have you sneezed in the past hour?
no.

how many books are in your room?
some.

what did you last eat?
chocolate cake!

name one of your goals for this year?
i'll just set goals next year.

what is the biggest trouble you have ever been in?
ha, not much. tickets -- police wise, detention for skipping once -- high school, drinking in eigth grade -- parents.

did you cry because michael jackson died?
no.

look to your left. what's there?
sunshine.

what are you looking forward to?
big island, mn.

what comes to your mind when i say red?
christmas.

what other language do you want to be fluent in?
japanese..

do you crack your neck often?
never.

do you usually hold your pee for a long time?
sometimes, it's bad.

name something you think is pointless?
many of the tasks i do throughout the day.

have you ever been in a fist fight?
with a boy; i got decked.

do you wish at 11:11?
always.

i <3 postcards...(XII)

from d.a.b.'s bf. (brownie points with the roomie)



ditto.



sooo perrrtty.



p.p.'s home away from home :)

i <3 postcards...(XI)

j.rak, somehow always makin' her way to vegas!



ditto.



ann-chan, domo! (met up with j.rak there)



lala-will be back soon!


fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.