it's dec 31, 2008 at 11:57:48 according to the countdown in times square on channel 9. i can hear the barrade of fireworks crazily going off many places outside of my room. i had planned to spend new years this way, alone with the t.v. i spent the whole day cleaning, to start the new year out on a new clean slate. the ball just dropped. it wasn't very exciting...but how i would give much to be back in new york at the moment. anyways, back to 2009 and such. it's time, i feel, to try and start getting back up on the ball. haha. carson daily said "wow, there's a lot of making out going on". i know who'd i be making out with if i was there. as does he.

i'm going to take a long hard look at myself tomorrow morning and decide exactly who i want to be. i have come up with a couple things i know i should being working on. the drinking: it needs to be more tamed. beer guts are gross, it just doesn't feel good. being more active will go hand in hand with the not-drinking. of course, eating healthy, too.

basically, i'm broke. this will be a good way to save money and pay off all my bills. my sister is going to be sending me some make-up. sadly but truely, i will make better money if i'm wearing make-up and look better, so i will also most likely start sporting a new push-up bra when needed.

it's time to focus: on things i enjoy and what i want to do, explore ideas, and decide which path in the direction of school i would like to go. this term shall hold a few different classes...one needed and two for fun; as long as i can figure out when the hell sign-ups are. and do good in these classes.

i do not plan on falling in love anytime soon. it seems i fall in too love often, with men in far away places. the last will be a hard one to surpass. of course i can admire men, but perhaps from only afar. it is now time to focus on ME.

i will finish my cup book.

volunteer at a few different places i have had in mind.

try and finally start surfing again.

i suppose i shall take a picture of myself in the morning. for reference to where i am today. and what is yet to come.

happy new year.
sweet d

"they don't love you like i love you..."